Our Lies
by dude7000
Summary: "Kill yourself with me." I couldn't follow her out of this world, but I can go before her and surprise her when she leaves. One Shot.


**Disclaimer: I don't own Your Lie In April or any of it's characters, if I did I would have ended on a significantly happier note.**

* * *

 _"Kill yourself with me."_

The words wouldn't leave my head. Like I told her on the roof , I wouldn't be killing myself with her, I'd be following her. Still, I know that I can't just go on without her, nothing would ever be the same again, and my world would slip back to the monochrome it was before I met her.

No, I can't kill myself with her, but I can kill myself and wait for her, I'll make sure the first thing she sees on the other side is the smiling face of Friend A. She's having a dangerous surgery today, if she survives, she is going to be so mad at me that I might just die again, but if she does I suppose I'll just have more time to get everything ready for her. I can't wait around and see how it goes because if she doesn't make it, I'll miss my chance to be there waiting for her.

I've already written apology letters to my father, Tsubaki, Watari, Hiriko and Kaori, just in case. I walk into my mother's music room and sit at the piano, I'm dressed for a performance, my final performance here.

My fingers glide across the keys, not really playing anything at first, but the melody slowly morphs into Liebesleid and it feels right. This is my goodbye to my friends and memories here, and I'm sure they'll miss me, but I want them to understand that I don't want the sorrow to be scary. I'm not scared or sad, but maybe that's because I'm not hearing what I'm playing, I'm hearing Liebesfreud and I feel the joy that it represents.

When the song ends, I stand up and reach into my pocket. I pull out a small bottle of my mom's medicine to help manage her pain. I think of Kaori and smile, then pour all of the remaining pills into my mouth. I don't know what it's going to be like, hopefully I drift off to sleep and wake up in a place where Kaori and I have all the time in the world to play music with eachother, maybe we can even write something ourselves.

I lay under the piano, like I did when I was younger, and I think of her. _Kaori Miyazono, I love you._ I'm still smiling when I feel my eyes close and slip away from this world.

* * *

I can tell that the surgery isn't going well, I'm dying. I'm trying not to be too sad about it, but I really wish that I could have heard Kousei play at least one more time. Maybe I'll still be able to watch him from this side, that would make this a lot better. I'm floating away like cherry blossoms in the breeze, I think back to when we played together at Towa Hall, I wonder if the doctors can see my smile. _Kousei Arima, I love you._

* * *

I'm playing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star for her, I know when she hears it, she'll know where to find me.

I see her walk around a tree, she's looking right at me. There are tears in her eyes, and she looks completely surprised. I stand up and walk over to her.

"What are you doing here Kousei?" She asks, and there is a light tremor in her tone.

I smile at her, "I was waiting for you, and there you go again, calling my by my name, is "Friend A" not good enough for you?" she laughs lightly and brushes away her tears.

"WHAT THE HELL, I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU COULDN'T KILL YOURSELF WITH ME! DON'T YOU KNOW NOT TO PLAY WITH A GIRL'S EMOTIONS LIKE THAT?!" she starts hitting me with a stick that was on the ground.

I'm trying unsuccessfully to stave off her attack, " I know, I'm sorry. I sort of lied, but I felt like killing myself before you was my way of doing without following you. I just couldn't live in a world that you aren't around to bring color to."

She stops hitting me and smiles softly at me, "You idiot," she says softly, "saying those kinds of things can give the wrong impression."

I stand up and look into her eyes, "It doesn't matter to me what kind of impression they give, that's how I feel, I know that you like Watari, but I need you to know that I'm in love with you."

She's smiling even bigger, "You aren't the only liar here, I just told mine first."

"What do you mean? What did you lie about?" I'm genuinely curious now.

She purses her mouth in thought and touches a finger to her chin, "Hm, maybe I shouldn't tell you, after all, if you hadn't lied to me and didn't kill yourself you would probably have already read the letter I wrote to you explaining this." she glances at the frown on my face then smiles again "Okay, I'll tell you, I don't like Watari. That was just an excuse to get close to you, because I love you too, Kousei."

We sit together against a tree and she explains why she lied, and tells me about her dream to play with me.

I stand up, grab her hand, and walk her over to the piano I was playing earlier, I reach down and grab a violin and bow that were next to me on the bench. I turn and hand them to her, while she's staring at me I slowly lean in towards her. She must know what I want to do because she also leans in. We close our eyes and softly kiss, I could kiss her forever, we have all the time in the world, and it feels so right. I slowly pull away because there is something else that I've wanted to do for a long time. I look into her eyes "I love you Kaori Miyazono, and I'm going to spend eternity proving it to you" then I sit in front of the piano and look at her.

"I love you too Kousei Arima, and I'm looking forward to it mister." Her smile magnifies all of the beautiful colors already surrounding us.

I smile and place my fingers on the keys, "Again?"

She readies her violin and places the bow against it, her smile never fading "Again."


End file.
